DANYA
The Singaporienne: A Novel

Was it you who spoke the words that things would happen but not to me
Oh things are gonna happen naturally
Oh taking your advice I'm looking on the bright side
And balancing the whole thing
But often times those words get tangled up in lines
And the bright lights turn to night
Until the dawn it brings
Another day to sing about the magic that was you and me

1:32 AM Thoughts of the Innermost

Sometimes it isn’t what they say that matters,
But how they make you doubt yourself after.
The meaning that lies behind the façade they put on is relatively simple. Be it your best friend or your worst enemy, even family, the hidden truth they put out there so clearly just for you to stumble upon is doubt. Doubt upon yourself and lose faith in everything else. It’s as simple as that.

They love you but they hurt you.
They unwittingly hurt you just by mere words, knowing or unknowingly, of course. You would sometimes convince yourself that maybe, just maybe, they did not mean it. Not one bit. But you know, that no matter how close you are, it is best to stay away because they will break you and watch crumble, falling on your knees. Eventually, that fire in you will burn out. Not because you are dead, of course. But because they have broken you, taken your spirit from you, and watched doubt yourself in front of them, showing all flaws and weaknesses of yours. All out there for the world to see. For them to see.

They would compare you to others, watching you doubt yourself, that you are not even close to being a better friend, child, sibling or student than whoever it is you are being compared to. We are all human, we know what others mean when they say things and mean another. We know because we are human. You are human. You know what they mean. But being that spineless clingy invertebrate that you are, you let them have it. You let them push you to the ground and chain up the person that you are. You give them that opportunity to lose trust in yourself.
Of course, you are not to be blamed for many fall under their spell.

You never stopped in the relentless pursuit of attaining their acceptance and that may or may not be noted for. But know one thing, never you will achieve what you want, what you need. Because though they may love you, they will never sacrifice anything for you, cry for you, die for you, nor in the very least sincerely want to spend time with you. They have others and you have no one, and that is how it will always be. You may keep giving and giving, but not even a glance of significant notice will be returned.

Keep giving for that is what pleases you.
Keep doubting yourself for that is what keeps you alive.
Keep worrying for that is what keeps you sane.
And lastly, keep hurting because that is all you can do.

was looking through my work which ive done for the past years; my poems, little notes like these; and some full stories. i realised that i write to help me with my nonsense phases and moods. and it's all just compiled into a full set of angsty literary work, so many pages, haha. and prolly someone would have thought it was done by some murderous psychopathic emo-kid, but hey, no one wouldve guessed it was me, unless you know my writing style, haha. ah well, justa random thought to share this piece which i wrote a long time ago. some work i can share, the rest, i guess, are way too personal at times and id rather keep them close to me, and me alone.
whoopdedoo.